


Confession (Part I)

by Maraudererasmut



Series: Wolfstar Shorts [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Gryffindor, Gryffindor Common Room, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Room of Requirement, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, not smut, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 06:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15989696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maraudererasmut/pseuds/Maraudererasmut
Summary: James makes himself available for Sirius to open up, away from the other Marauders. Sirius finds a way to express what's been weighing him down lately.





	Confession (Part I)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not one hundred percent happy with how this one is written, I may go back and make some small edits later. I did really want to get it out, though. I have a story that I want to tell, dammit!
> 
> This will be a sister piece to "Confession (Part II)" that will show someone else's confession. If you like Wolfstar and don't care for my gross smut, these are the shorts for you. 
> 
> Feel free to provide constructive criticism! I always want to learn and grow as a writer!

Sirius had just gotten out of the shower when he was assaulted by a paper airplane, smacking him abruptly in the head. He looked down to find it eagerly hopping around his feet. Picking it up, he unfolded the parchment and [read its contents.](https://imgur.com/j04VoT8)

 

Grabbing his wand, Sirius whispered “incendio”, causing the slip of paper to burst into flames and fall to the ground in a sprinkle of ash. He stepped up to the mirror and rested his hands on the counter, staring at his reflection. Sirius knew exactly why James wanted to meet, and he wasn't keen on having that kind of conversation.

 

The boy shook his head vigorously, long black hair flying around, splashing the mirror with a splattering of water. A hand swiftly went up to the hair to sweep it back, revealing Sirius’ face, long and tired from a sleepless night.

 

Sirius let out a deep sigh and mustered up his strength before throwing a towel around his waist and a grin on his face. He strode confidently back into the dorm room, nodding to his fellow marauders, and got dressed for another long day of school. This was definitely the kind of day that couldn't be over soon enough.

 

\---

 

Classes were finished and dinner had ended; the boys tucked themselves into their usual corner, taking the piss and laughing. Sirius laughed along, smiled at his friends and chimed in the conversion, but in the back of his mind, his thoughts were on his clandestine meeting with James.

 

“Oh, crap. Look at the time. Guys, I gotta run,” James started suddenly, swinging his feet from the armrest to the ground.

 

“Wait, where're you going?” Peter asked earnestly.

 

James just winked at Peter and ruffled his messy hair.

 

“It's not a date, is it?” Peter was leaning so far off his cushion, Sirius half expected him to fall off.

 

“Shh, don't tell Lily,” James teased as he pulled a delicate bundle of material out of his satchel. “And don't wait up for me,” he smirked.

 

James headed towards the exit of Gryffindor tower, bundle of cloth in his hand, waving to his group of friends as he left. There was a pause. Then Peter spoke up.

 

“Wait, what?! James is going on a date?! And not with Lily?!”

 

The three boys carefully, not-so-subtly glanced over at the opposite corner of the room where Lily was deeply invested in a book.

 

“Guess he got tired of the chase,” Sirius offered.

 

“I can't believe it! Prongs has been into her forever! What made him change his mind?” Peter asked.

 

“Iunno, beats me,” Sirius shrugged, flopping his head back to stare at the ceiling. He knew exactly where James was heading, and it certainly wasn't a date. “Hey, Worms, what time is it anyway?” Sirius never wore a watch; they didn’t look cool.

 

“Uh… five-to… why?”

 

_Five to eleven._

 

“Shit,” Sirius swore. “I have to go too, actually.”

 

“You've got a date, too?!” Peter exclaimed, a bit of jealousy in his voice.

 

“Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a date,” Sirius teased. The boys knew exactly how to interpret that; Sirius very rarely wined-and-dined the girls that he slept with.

 

“Well, go on then,” Remus snapped, bitterness permeating his voice. Sirius looked at him, trying to read his expression, but Lupin never lifted his eyes from the book he was holding. Peter raised an eyebrow and gave Sirius a look, almost asking _what's up his butt?_ with his expression. Sirius shrugged and swung his feet gracelessly off the couch.

 

“I’m taking the map. See you guys in a bit.” With that, Sirius left the common room, whispering “I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good” as he went out the door.

 

Once he was in the castle corridor, Sirius checked the map to make sure the coast was clear, then made his way up to the seventh floor.

 

After an uneventful journey through the halls of the castle and the occasional secret passageway, Sirius found himself in front of Barnabas the Barmy in a futile attempt to teach his woven trolls ballet. Sirius closed his eyes and paced back and forth past the tapestry.

 

_I need a room to meet James in. I need a room to meet James in. I need a room to meet James in._

 

A small wooden door appeared in the stone wall across from the dancing trolls, with an old brass knob protruding from it. Sirius grabbed the knob firmly, took a deep steadying breath, and opened the door.

 

Inside the Room of Requirement was a warm cozy room, filled with squashy couches and fluffy pillows. It vaguely reminded Sirius of the Gryffindor common room, minus the fire places and the noisy hum of students chatting. On one large purple couch sat James, looking expectantly at the door. When he noticed Sirius, his face broke into a bright smile and a hand raised up to ruffle his messy hair.

 

“Sirius! Glad you came! I wasn't sure if you got my note. Come on in!” James enthusiastically waved his friend over. “And close that door,” he added as Sirius stepped through the threshold.

 

Sirius eyed James suspiciously before sitting down in a comfortable looking chair across from James’ couch.

 

“What’s all this about?” Padfood said rudely, turning his body and swinging his legs over the armrest of the chair. He was not going to make this easy on Prongs.

 

“Dude, yesterday… that was weird. I just wanna make sure you’re okay,” James responded kindly. He looked genuinely concerned, a look that Sirius rarely saw cross those mischievous brown eyes.

 

“I’m fine,” Sirius muttered. He wasn’t fine, but he also wasn’t prepared to share his feelings with James. If Prongs knew exactly what was going through his mind, he’d be the laughing stock of the school.

 

James leaned forward in his seat and looked at Sirius, an odd expression maring his handsome face.

 

“Sirius… are you… in love with me?”

 

A moment of silence fell before Sirius burst out laughing. Embarrassed and blushing, James ran a hand through his hair instinctively. Sirius had tears in his eyes as he continued to laugh at his best friend.

 

“Oh my god, Prongs,” he managed to choke out through fits of giggles. “No! No, you cocky bastard! I’m not in love with you!”

 

James’ face turned an even brighter shade of crimson, almost matching the tie loosely knotted around his neck.

“What the _hell_ made you think that?!” Sirius continued, a massive grin still plastered to his face.

 

“Well…” James began, clearly ashamed of even asking such a ludicrous question. “Yesterday… you were asking about me… and Lily… and love… and being in love… I just…”

 

James’ awkward explanation was cut off by another bark of laughter from Sirius.

 

“Shut up, Pads! You were cryptic! How was I supposed to know what you wanted to say!”

 

The two boys continued to giggle until the laughter died down and they were once again surrounded by silence. James took a deep breath.

 

“You know, Pads… If you were… I wouldn’t judge you. You know that, right? You’re my best friend. My brother. I’ll always be here for you,” James offered kindly. He knew there was something that Sirius needed to let out, and he was determined to be there whenever his friend was ready.

 

Sirius looked down at his hands, suddenly very interested in the chipped black polish on his fingernails. He picked at them a bit, collecting his thoughts, trying to figure out what to say.

 

“So… if I were… you wouldn’t… laugh? Or… y’know… judge me?”

 

“No,” James responded quickly, realizing exactly where the conversation was going. “Not for a single moment. So what if you were in love with me? Who cares who you’re in love with… It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. People are people,” James insisted.

 

That’s one thing that Sirius always loved about James. No matter where a person came from or who they were, they always deserved a chance in Prongs’ eyes. Heirs to families that specialized in dark magic, werewolves who were hated by the wizarding community, witches born to muggles that excelled in charms, and apparently guys of any sexual orientation. James always felt that everyone deserves a chance to be loved.

 

“I’m not,” Sirius confirmed, making sure that James knew this conversation was entirely hypothetical. “In love with you, that is. I’m not. At all…” He trailed off.

 

“I know,” James responded, smiling softly at his friend. At this point, he already had a feeling who Sirius was in love with.

 

The room once again fell into silence, both boys trying to figure out where the conversation would go next. Sirius wasn’t entirely sure if he was ready to say his feelings out loud, and James wasn’t sure if he should coax those words out.

 

A fireplace suddenly appeared in the corner of the room, filling the silence with a soft crackling and the room with a warm glow. James giggled nervously.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “Was just thinking that the silence was a little weird, and the room kinda did its thing…”

 

The snaps and pops coming from the fireplace helped soothe the tension that was building up in the Room of Requirement; the boys were used to the comforting sounds of a fire from their years in the Gryffindor common room. Minutes passed, and the two friends allowed the warmth of the fire to wash over them, relaxing them, helping ease them into the tough conversation ahead.

 

James was the first to speak.

 

“Is it Remus?”

 

Sirius didn’t look up from his hands, but a light shade of pink crept from his ears to the pale skin on his face. Was he that obvious? Was it that noticeable?

 

James smiled, knowing he had found the right answer.

 

“If it is… not that it is or anything… but if it was Remus, I’d understand. He’s a great guy. He really is. I can see why you’d be in love with him.”

 

Sirius’ face got redder and brighter, but his focus never wavered from his painted fingertips.

 

“It’s okay to be in love,” James offered kindly, hoping for a response. “Pads… It’s alright. You can talk to me…”

 

Sounds of flames danced through the air, and tears welled up slightly in Sirius’ eyes.

 

“I’m scared,” he whispered to his fingers.

 

“Why?” James asked. “What’s there to be afraid of?”

 

Sirius closed his eyes, allowing a single tear to slide down his cheek.

 

“I… don’t want to lose him,” he finally admitted, his voice getting caught in his throat. “I don’t want to say anything or tell anyone and… and lose Moony…”

 

James looked at Sirius, finally understanding why his friend had been struggling to open up this whole time. Always the deviant, Sirius probably never had any qualms about being gay or having feelings for another man. He was scared because he had feelings for a friend. Feelings that might not ever be reciprocated. Feelings that could destroy their friendship. James had nothing to offer his friend in terms of advice. All he could do is sit there and hope that his presence helped in some way.

 

“You can’t tell him, James,” Sirius spoke softly to his hands. “Please,” he pleaded, eyes glistening slightly.

“Don’t worry, Padfoot. I won’t. But…” A pause. “I think you should.”

 

Sirius’ head snapped up and he looked at James for the first time since he was discovered, shock and confusion crossing his sharp face.

 

“He’d hate me. He’d think I’m a freak! A… A… A weird pervert! He’d never want to talk to me again!” For the first time, all of Sirius’ worries and fears came bubbling out. “I can’t tell Remus. Never. Not now, not ever. I can’t lose him, Prongs. I just can’t…”

 

James smiled knowingly at the panicked look on Sirius’ face.

 

“We’ve been friends for six years. Hell, we’ve all lived together for six years. Do you really think Remus would judge you, even for a moment? Are you serious?”

 

Sirius broke into a small, quiet chuckle. James grinned back, happy to bring a smile to his friend’s face.

 

“Yeah…” Padfoot said, soft but jokingly. “I am Sirius…”

 

James stood up and walked over to Sirius’ armchair, reaching out a hand to help him up. Sirius grasped the open hand and flopped himself out of his chair. The two boys embraced, not saying a word.

 

James spoke first.

 

“There’s nothing wrong with you. You are perfect, just the way you are, Pads. And we all love you. We always will. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” It was disgustingly sentimental, and was the kind of thing that would make Sirius wretch if said in any other context. But right there, in that room, with the crackling fire and the tight hug, it was exactly what Sirius needed to hear.

 

Nothing more needed to be said.

 

The boys broke apart and James glanced at his watch.

 

“We’ve been here for, like, two hours. We should probably get back,” he suggested. Sirius nodded and pulled out the map to check if his friends were still in the common room. Peter and Remus were both in their beds; no one would be suspicious if James and Sirius returned to Gryffindor tower together.

 

“C’mon,” James said with a warm smile. “Let’s go.”

 

Padfoot and Prongs left the Room of Requirement under the protection of James’ cloak and made their way back to their beds, both boys feeling relieved. Sirius secretly thanked James in his mind, feeling grateful that he was finally able to express what had been weighing him down for the past few years.


End file.
